Best Breasts Evarrr!

Christoph Malcolm on July 18th, 2008 in Special

scarlett.jpgScarlett Johansson has achieved a great many things in her life — not the least of which is her status as the daughter of a Danish architect. How many of the supposed “Hollywood Elite” can claim that on their resume?

Also, since she is of Danish heritage, her name is probably real. That’s a pretty cool name, Scarlett Johansson. She could probably find work in some fairly refined institutes of pornographic video production.

Much like her name, her breasts are very real. This could hurt her chances in the adult industry, but it seems to have helped her out around here, because you, the readers of RandomSalad.com, have just voted that…

Scarlett Johansson has the Best Breasts Evvvaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Probably, at least. Since she’s never going to actually show the goddamn things.

She’s only 23, but unless her career takes a serious nosedive real soon she’s going to pass the age threshold for large-breasted women to remain fully confident with their naked bodies before she passes the box-office threshold of having no other way to get work.

So, congratulations to Scarlett. Now let’s boycott her movies.

Best Breasts Evarr - 2008 - Voting

Christoph Malcolm on July 10th, 2008 in Special

I asked, you selected, and now we must decide. Below are the twelve most desired sets of breasts on all the Internet, eleven of which are about to be eliminated in our quest to form a fake religion around a woman who will never acknowledge us in any small way.

Your nominees are:

Brigitte BardotBrigitte Bardot
Salma HayekSalma Hayek
Shay LarenShay Laren
Veronika ZemanovaVeronika Zemanova
Michelle TrachtenbergMichelle Trachtenberg
Kelly BrookKelly Brook
Katie WestKatie West
Lucy PinderLucy Pinder
Love4DreamLove4Dream
Milla JovovichMilla Jovovich
Scarlett JohanssonScarlett Johansson
Allie SinAllie Sin

Take this task very seriously. If you’re unsure, or you just need bigger pictures, remember that Google is your friend in times like these. When you feel that you are ready to make an informed decision, continue below to vote.

You can pick as many girls/breasts as you want. Choose too many and you’ll cancel your own votes out, though, so try to be a little picky about it. You are now a professional breast snob.

[poll=12]

Argue like a bunch of idiots in the comments, and next week we will gather here once more to celebrate our new boob-jesus.

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