Patriot Act puts 4channer in Federal Prison

In a massive case of doing it wrong, former /b/tard and ex-grocery store clerk Jake Brahm has been sentenced to 6 months in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. He also has to serve 6 months house arrest afterwards, which will probably be spent sending people cat macros and wearing a V for Vendetta mask around the house as he basks in his internet fame and ices his sore anus.

Jake’s crime? Spamming 4chan with comments saying that he was going to bomb several specific football stadiums. Truly being the internet power ranger that he is, he “was thrilled when police arrived, tossing his clipboard to the ground, shouting, ‘Yes!’ and raising his arms in celebration.” Part of me wonders if he just did that part so that he could tell the internet about it later (and subsequently be called a fag).

His excuse is the funniest part of all this since it’s something anyone on the internet knows: “Brahm said the postings were not meant to be taken seriously and were at a Web site, www.4chan.org, that is ‘outrageous.’ ‘I would never take anything posted on 4chan as fact,’ he said.” Though to be fair, sometimes 4chan is incredibly creepy.

Morale of the story: use a proxy when you make bomb threats online, kids. I’m hoping this isn’t one of those slippery slopes since as entertaining as seeing a bunch of internet meme spammers go to jail over saying “setting up the bomb” over and over, living in a country like that would kinda suck.

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